Dearly Departing....: Parting - Shirts and Medals

Monday, January 30, 2012

Parting - Shirts and Medals

Her first 5K was across the Luling Bridge crossing the Mississippi River west of New Orleans. April 13, 2002. SHE ran with my husband, I am the cheerleader. At the end there was beer and jambalaya to celebrate. SHE was hooked. SHE was fifty one, her time was thirty three minutes and forty eight seconds. She came in 136th out of 725 women. After this, much was to follow, 5K's, 10K's, half marathons, marathons, neighborhood runs. I filled a 30 gallon tub with running shirts.

The first two shirts and medals went to guardian angels. Without these temporary humans she would not have been blessed with one additional year of life. They worked behind the scenes to keep her safe that summer of 2010, had extraordinary perceptions and connections. Is there any way to express gratitude? The shirt on the left is from the Marine Corp Marathon, perhaps the hardest race she ever ran our brother said who was her companion and champion on many of her runs. And the Chicago Marathon 2003 shirt on the right was favorite, the first of many Chicago runs.

I didn't think to take a photo of everything before I started to part. Her medals hung in a group on the mirror door of her medicine cabinet, inspiration I think from the first moments in the morning. These are just some of them. It was a fine balancing act for her to keep them all on the mirror.

The parting of shirts and medals was actually started by her and how I thought to pass these on. What powers they should bring to the new owner. My suggestion to a couple of people was to wear it as an undershirt, Superman style, to give them that breakout strength needed for tough times. SHE certainly knew about that.

SHE gave the first shirts to our scrawny bird-legged niece, young wife and mom and now runner herself. Who knew? I made sure to add the matching medals.

2009 Gasparilla Half Marathon

2006 Walt Disney World Half Marathon

2007 Bank of America Marathon (Tampa)

2008 Chicago Marathon

There were two shirts and medals from the Country Music 1/2 Marathon 2004, 2008 that were sent to our sister in Tennessee along with the Chicago Marathon 2008. Also to her the lone NYC Marathon Medal 2006 with no shirt, I think SHE wore that one out. My husband wanted the Mardi Gras Marathon set from 2004. There were three OUC 1/2 marathons 2005, 2006, 2007 sent to her neighbors kids who helped their parents watch over her house, mowed her grass and included her as part of their family.

Gasparilla Half Marathon 2008 went to another neighbor kid, who really isn't a kid anymore but SHE loved watching the three generations of women in this family and became part of their family too. Winter Park 2008 10K was for the kids mother and neighbor extraordinaire - I can't even begin to list the things done to help. There is never enough thanks.

These are the last, I am not sure I kept track of everything as I tried to move these on quickly. There was a Deland Thanksgiving ten mile/5K for another colleague who we were most thankful for during crisis. A Chicago Marathon 2004 shirt with long sleeves for someone SHE worked with to keep her warm as her friendship gave my sister genuine warmth. The Suzuki Rock and Roll Marathon goes to our nephew, a young dad who is one that can use this as his Superman shirt as he assimilates his parenting skills. Women Rule the World. There were three of these medals but only one shirt and it was well worn. I sent that one to our niece who is a new mom, not sure what it is good for really as it is the most worn of all the gifted shirts but maybe just put it in a drawer somewhere for strength and love, pull it out when you need to find your inner power. (The bottom right shirt was for neighbor extraordinare in above paragraph.

This isn't a complete accounting of all her running by any means. There were missing shirts and missing medals. And I sent four Orangewood 5K shirts to her neighbors who inspired their church/school through her to start an annual run. SHE was relentless with her passion, working to convince anyone she could to take up this same pursuit that gave her so much satisfaction, sense of achievement and self respect.

Whenever SHE ran, SHE ran with a photo of our mother secured to her for inspiration and fortitude. I will take the leftover remaining shirtless medals and turn them into Christmas ornaments to hang on my tree every year, a solemn but meaningful recollection.

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An Explanaton

We were somewhat amazed. It became clear SHE was far more organized than we thought. Her own things were tucked in, orderly and efficiently - running shirts on one rack, adventure gear in another closet, shorts neatly placed in one drawer, dog leashes in a basket, etc. Then we began to notice a trend, collections that is. Barrister bookcases, wooden rocking chairs, sewing machines, wildlife artwork.......

Most of this was concealed really when we would visit her, camouflaged by disorder and the presence of four rowdy dogs who commanded priority consideration distracting everyone from everything. There was a mystery room or two that we weren't sure exactly what they contained and we had honored that seclusion.

Unearthing her eccentric life has been humbling. Some of it, her clothing, was easy to pass on to Goodwill, a fave hangout of us three sisters. And some was easy just to toss, my mothers aged dried flower arrangements for example. Other things will take a while. Scraps of paper with my mothers handwriting she had saved, photographs, coffee mugs with her initials, books that she loved, running medals, running shirts, stamps torn off the corners of envelopes that she found interesting.........these things will be savored then let go.

SHE lived her bucket list. Okay, there were a couple things left SHE said, but other than that SHE had gone the distance. Never a conformist, always a individualist, SHE did it her way. Most memorable is her love for our mother and the love SHE felt by her, there was never a day SHE didn't feel loved. Single by choice, SHE lead a bull in a china shop life, fearless of disparaging opinion and unyielding in her quest for the ideal.

SHE was a workaholic. SHE loved her profession and dedicated her life to it. Her work was impeccable and meticulous, a striking contrast to her laid back home. Early in her career SHE took her skills to volunteer in underdeveloped countries and this became a life long commitment. SHE demanded the highest standard of performance from herself and also from those around her whether they liked it or not. SHE didn't win friends this way but ultimately SHE earned respect.

Outside of work, her life was filled with adventure. On her 40th birthday SHE challenged Mt. Kilimanjaro. When SHE failed to reach the top, SHE simply signed up to go the next year and completed her quest. Where mission trips didn't take her, SHE went on her own. Africa, Switzerland, The Galapagos, and as my brother says, "Bhutan, why is SHE going to Bhutan?" The list goes on.

SHE began running after out mother’s death and completed fifteen marathons after the age of fifty. SHE encouraged, okay hounded, those around her – coworkers, neighbors and total strangers. SHE threw down the gauntlet and inspired many to take up the challenge adding marathons or simple 5K’s to their lives.

Years ago I took my youngest son and a friend to her home on Spring Break. Halfway there I realized where we were going and I asked my son's friend if he had any eccentric relatives. Being from New Orleans, of course he said yes, so I told him we were taking him to see ours. Her home was unlike most but I knew it would be okay to take this friend.

Growing up, she took my dolls and hid them in her tree house knowing full well I was much too chicken to retrieve them and was at her mercy. We filled our pockets with dry dog food in an attempt to get the dog to follow us on our walks through the countryside. We protected each other keeping secret that we nibbled those nuggets from time to time trying to convince that dog that ignored our invitations.

After SHE died on September 13, 2011 it was necessary to cross lines of privacy we had never traversed, it was time to unearth what was packed away and bring to the light what SHE had accumulated. We will be parting, departing or keeping things belonging to my mother, my mother's best friend Lexie who died in 1998 at the age of 94 and her own odd collection of worldly goods.

The last year of her life, her cell phone somehow got stuck sending all her messages in capital letters. It was strangely reminiscent of the voice of Owen Meany in John Irving's book "A Prayer for Owen Meany." It has left a lasting impression on me as I compare her simple and unquestioning faith in God to that of Owen who never wavered in his convictions. So I will simply refer to my sister as SHE as I write this story.

Did I mention the garage?